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WWYD? Caught my almost 8 yr. old DD lying and stealing my money!

I think declaring your kid incorrigibly evil, enough to consider involving the police, over a fairly simple matter is pretty mean.

Where's the money? If she doesn't have it, then I would look elsewhere for who she's taking the dive for.

:shrug:
 
dragonfly said:
If it makes you feel any better, my stb8yo DD7 is currently writing "I will not touch the cats." It began at 1:30 and it will take her (no exaggeration) 4-5 hours to write it 100 times because she will get wrapped up in a three way conversation with her other personalities. :gah: It took her 3 hours to do four simple worksheets, read 15 pages of her book & fold/put away 3 days worth of laundry this morning. You'd think for someone who ****ed around the entire first half of her day, she wouldn't do something to completely ruin the rest of her day, but that is not the case with this one. :dunce:

All I know is that in 5 hours, I get to leave for 2 hours. :)

I used to say, "Teenagers! :gah:" Now I say, "7 year olds! :gah:"
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WHY did you wanna take on more kids again? :bee: :lol:

You're trying to get a 7 yo to put away laundry? **** you go girl! I can't get my DS13 to do it. I end up doing it and cleaning the rest of his room because I can't stand to look at it. :surrender:

And yes, I've already written an apology letter to his future wife. :lol:
 
mrsmom said:
WHY did you wanna take on more kids again? :bee: :lol:

No f'ing clue. :lol:

You're trying to get a 7 yo to put away laundry? **** you go girl! I can't get my DS13 to do it. I end up doing it and cleaning the rest of his room because I can't stand to look at it. :surrender:

Well, my original children are slobs, so I am trying not to repeat the past. Plus, it was 10 minutes of quiet. (That turned into 30 minutes for her.)

And yes, I've already written an apology letter to his future wife. :lol:

:snort: I keep telling the boy, "Just do it. You'll understand in 20 years when your wife doesn't hate me." Last week he learned how to kill a spider, if it would snow, he would learn how to shovel. :snicker: He is also in charge of holding the door for the ladies- house, store, car, etc. He's so cute. When he does it he sometimes says, "Say the words!!" and I say, "Why, thank you, kind sir!" and he giggles. :lol:
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.
 
The ONLY people who I THOUGHT made comments that were uncalled for were Kathy and Barb and I mean skincarekathy. Kathy basically said I was a stupid ****tard for my husband's comments about talking to the po-po and Barb told me several times that "I was throwing my DD under the bus and overreacting." So no, cardinalsfan I wasn't talking about you and I wasn't TRYING to create drama....but thanks for thinking that anyway.
 
I don't think Barb's comments were mean spirited. I think she was trying to be helpful and caution you against a response that would teach your daughter that she couldn't come to you if she does something bad.
 
icoupon2 said:
I don't think Barb's comments were mean spirited. I think she was trying to be helpful and caution you against a response that would teach your daughter that she couldn't come to you if she does something bad.
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Perhaps this is the case. As I've said before it is hard to tell tone, cadence, etc. on the internet. I thought it came across as a tad judgmental but if I misunderstood then that is my bad. I really have no need for drama folks...as you can tell I have enough of my own. Believe me, no one can beat me up better than myself...so no one else needs to do so. After all, I am not perfect, I am just human.
 
icoupon2 said:
I don't think Barb's comments were mean spirited. I think she was trying to be helpful and caution you against a response that would teach your daughter that she couldn't come to you if she does something bad.
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I actually thought Barb's comments were meant to be kind and helpful--and to be honest I thought they were rather insightful. I wasn't going to say anything on this one, because, well, I don't have kids--and failing something truly bizarre or tragic--never will. But, I think it is very possible that I know more people than anyone else on this board who are not in any kind of contact with their parents whatsoever, or whose contact is so superficial as to render them nothing more than acquaintances. In almost every instance either the parents had made it clear that certain things were simply beyond the pale or, even sadder, the child got the impression that certain things would make them unlovable and was never able to shake that feeling, even into adulthood--and it's hard to shake the impression that in at least some of these instances this impression wasn't even accurate. Everyone disappoints their parents--they lie and steal when they're eight, they get drunk and need a ride home when they're fifteen, they get pregnant when they.re seventeen and so many smaller things. Yes, you probably don't want your kids to do any of these things--and hopefully they won't. But what I think Barb was saying, and what I would echo, is be really careful what you put out into the world as a possible deal breaker. Children will listen, and remember...
 
icoupon2 said:
I don't think Barb's comments were mean spirited. I think she was trying to be helpful and caution you against a response that would teach your daughter that she couldn't come to you if she does something bad.
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Thank you. very much. icoupon2. EXACTLY.

Kewponaddict....I CARED. Wait a couple days and read the first 2 posts you posted. You sound over the top...and I also said I understood it. But you needed (IMO) a moment to step back and reflect before you reacted.

WE ALL DO....when they upset us most. "Go to your room while I think about it" is invaluable for you and your child.

I was trying to give you some perspective and help. I spent over half an hour googling articles on children stealing and lying....and found it relatively normal which I felt would put your mind to rest.

I posted links and everything for you.

no probs babe, won't happen again.
 
Re: WWYD? Caught my almost 8 yr. old DD lieing and stealing my money!

kewpon addict said:
My DH asked her and she said her friend told her to do it...and it is so she can buy little trinkets of junk at the store...what's pathetic is that this girl has SO MUCH STUFF that she doesn't want for anything. She is spoiled by my parents, her aunts and uncles etc. etc. I just think it's so evil...DH threatened to take her down to the police dept. and report her to the police...I'm almost thinking this may be the right idea. And no I don't think you sound harsh.
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I am done. Just pointing out where the references to the word "evil" came from.
 
yep, That is fine...I'm done too...just saying that I have been there for you when you have posted about your oldest dtr. and the FB thing and many other posts....I try to not be judgmental about people and their lives because I KNOW how hard things are in general. I have ALWAYS tried to be supportive of you and your posts on this board and I believe have always tried to put myself in other people's shoes...something I think more people in general should do...BTW, it hasn't been a couple of days it's been one day and I might add not a fun one for me.
 
I wasn't JUDGING you....I was trying to help and support you.

BTW, on Supernanny a parent told their kid they would call the police on bad behavior and she flipped, lol.

I felt you were hurt and angry beyond being able to be objective (and SAID I understood that) and tried to HELP. Like you ASKED for...
 
She said "it's" not "she". The act of stealing, not the person who stole. At least that is what it reads to me. If that is what got everyone so worked up, you should re-read that part.
 
Can't speak for anyone else, I wasn't all worked up. I was sympathizing with Kewponaddict.

When my daughter stole from my purse, I showed up at the middle school....pulled them BOTH out of school, drove 4-5 blocks away and demanded to know which one took my money. She didn't even TRY to lie.

I was hurt that my kids with whom I share EVERYTHING I have (without exception) would take from me.

The hurt and upset, I TOTALLY understood.
 
mrs.melton08 said:
She said "it's" not "she". The act of stealing, not the person who stole. At least that is what it reads to me. If that is what got everyone so worked up, you should re-read that part.
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:shesaid:

I never stole as a child. My children have never stolen. Of course I was always like a broken record when going into stores "if we are not buying it, you do NOT touch it!!!!" lol
I wonder if it is "common" because some people brush it off as it being "common". maybe not, however I do not think it is ok. what kind of example are we establishing for them as they get older? oh you only took $5 from my mommies purse, no problem. oh it was only a pack of gum, not a problem. bet you if she stole something from another child, that mother would be livid!!!
I completely understand where you are coming from kewpon. if my kids were ever to steal, darn right I would threaten to take them to the police. what kid in their mind has a fantasy about being taken to the police station? (I would like to think that they would not, especially for bad reasons) I have to look back, but I liked the one post that mentioned about not having enough money in your purse to buy that treat for her, all because someone took the money out of your purse.
 
FTwink said:
:shesaid:

I never stole as a child. My children have never stolen. Of course I was always like a broken record when going into stores "if we are not buying it, you do NOT touch it!!!!" lol
I wonder if it is "common" because some people brush it off as it being "common". maybe not, however I do not think it is ok. what kind of example are we establishing for them as they get older? oh you only took $5 from my mommies purse, no problem. oh it was only a pack of gum, not a problem. bet you if she stole something from another child, that mother would be livid!!!
I completely understand where you are coming from kewpon. if my kids were ever to steal, darn right I would threaten to take them to the police. what kid in their mind has a fantasy about being taken to the police station? (I would like to think that they would not, especially for bad reasons) I have to look back, but I liked the one post that mentioned about not having enough money in your purse to buy that treat for her, all because someone took the money out of your purse.
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I HEART you FTWINK! That is all!
 
OK, I've wanted to ask this since it started but I was trying not to start a ruckus. Since we already have a ruckus I might as well ask.

Can someone explain to me the response to stealing by giving her an allowance? :9:

This seems backwards to me. She didn't have money, so she broke a major taboo and stole money (from her mom no less), so the answer is to give her money now? That seems like negative reinforcement to me. I'm not criticizing, I really am trying to understand the rationale.

:hides:
 
This is my thought when I read people saying she needs an allowance.

I agree...BUT say wait a month....WAY after punishment is done and time has moved on and THEN start an allowance if the household budget allows it.

But I would DEFINATELY separate TO MY CHILD that this is a result of having stolen from me.

I was one of the kids that didn't have any $$. Whether it was for the school store....or going out with friends etc. AND I hated it.

As a result I try to make SURE that my kids have some $$ when they go out with friends, when they go on field trips, when they meet friends at the mall etc..

Anyway, those were my thoughts on those that mentioned she may need some spending $$.
 
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