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Who has a DH that travels?

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bunnee585

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Dh was offered a job at a new company tonight.
It would be for the same money, but they would provide a vehicle, gas, and expenses, (air fare, hotel, meals) when he needed to travel out of the area - which all translates into keeping more of his check for us. It would also mean he no longer needs to "swing a hammer" and MAYBE he would be more willing to do a little work around here? (I did say MAYBE) :giggles:

He wouldn't travel all the time, but when he did, he'd be gone for a week or two at a time depending on the weather.

My question is: Does your DH travel for work and what are the pro's and con's for you of him being gone? He does have family locally that would step up to help if I needed emergency maintenance around the house so that's a non issue.

I need to do a pro/con list before I can give him my thoughts on it, but since I've never lived with someone who travels, I don't know where to start.
 
My DH does not travel for work, however, he does work physically hard at his job everyday. If there was a job that he could make the same/more money and not work so physically hard. That is a pro.

My brother is an over the road truck driver and he is gone all week on the road. Some pro's for my SIL, her routine, her rules no-one to contradict the rules and consequences you set for the kiddos (if you have any).

The bed all to yourself! :)
Setting the thermostat to whatever you want!


Just wishful thinking on my part!! :) Good luck, it's never easy to make a major change.
 
My hubby is generally OOT 3 or so nights a month, so not a ton, but still...

I'm not gonna lie, it's hard. More because of the homework help and general corralling of the kids that I'm missing him for. My kids are very attached to my husband so it's hard when he's out of town.

Is this job a step up? Does it have greater potential than his current job? Because if I could choose, job w hubby traveling or without traveling for the same pay, I would want him here all the time.
But if there was more potential in a new job, I would really give it more thought. I find that I have to control myself from complaining to my dh when he's out of town. He's out of town, not for a vacation, but because he's supporting our family, and it's my job as his partner to support him in that.
Did any of this make sense?
 
My Dad took a job years ago traveling a couple times a month ( no choice) , think at 1st it's ok , but it gets old very quick and that was before the way airports are now . He did it for 2 years and was happy to change jobs - Didn't like dinner alone / hotel etc. just something to think about / some people travel all the time and wouldn't want it any other way .
 
DH travels out of town maybe once or twice a year. Usually only a week at a time. I just pretend he is upstairs. I don't have a problem, but the kids miss him terribly and he misses them. He has his own company and will usually get the hotel room paid, but has to write everything else off which comes out of his company pocket not our pocket. House gets and stays clean. I have my parents close so I can get a break usually once a week at the most if need be. He is in construction so he is working hard for his money either way.
 
How difficult it would be depends on how much you already do at home. If you are already doing the carpooling, cooking, shopping, household maintenance, homework, housework, and pretty much everything else, it wouldn't be much different to have him gone for a few days. You are a capable mom, you can handle anything! My dh doesn't travel, but he might as well be gone. He's gone from 10 am till 7 am (yep, 21 hours), so I'm pretty much the only one around. I've gotten used to it. You have to balance what you'll lose and what you'll gain if he takes the job. It's not only difficult for you, but also for your dh.
 
My husband travels a lot but it goes in spurts. I prefer him being gone...I can let the housework go for a couple of days if needed and we have kid food for dinner. With that being said...my DH is gone late even when he is in town. If I have an errand (although these are scarce now that the deals are low) it irritates me that he is gone but other than that....I prefer if he is out of town because I KNOW I'm in for the night and know what to expect. If he is just working late...you never know when he is going to show up and interupt our schedule or turn the tv channel, expect dinner with no notice...etc. I have 4 kids and if he is out of town they trade who gets to sleep in my bed and just in general it's like a little vacation. THey don't mind him being gone unless it's for a long time. He never helps with homework and it just is smoother the way things are. Sometimes he is gone for a couple of weeks at a time and that is hard....that is rare but happens a couple of times a year. Another thing to consider is how independent YOU are ....I lived alone for awhile before DH and I traveled for work when we first got married. I have no trouble being alone and don't need him to entertain me etc...we actually rarely hang out together when he is home. Good luck!
 
SunshineMama said:
How difficult it would be depends on how much you already do at home. If you are already doing the carpooling, cooking, shopping, household maintenance, homework, housework, and pretty much everything else, it wouldn't be much different to have him gone for a few days. You are a capable mom, you can handle anything! My dh doesn't travel, but he might as well be gone. He's gone from 10 am till 7 am (yep, 21 hours), so I'm pretty much the only one around. I've gotten used to it. You have to balance what you'll lose and what you'll gain if he takes the job. It's not only difficult for you, but also for your dh.
Click to expand...

Well said! Those are really good points....you just spelled out my life...no wonder I don't care if mine is gone...all he does is mow the lawn.
 
My DH travels, but usually only 2 days at a time. It is difficult for me because we have young children, I have a 1.5 commute and no family/friends nearby. My DH was out of town for my son's first birthday.. He says he hates it... I do think it gets old. And no way will he do more around the house because if he's like my DH he'll say he's working the whole time he's away... :)

There are some pros... I get to watch what I want on TV, eat what I want for dinner, no snoring.... Would it be a rental car or reimbursement for mileage? Reimbursements can get you a little extra money... And there is also credit card points, frequent flier miles...
 
I haven't read all of the replies, but if switching jobs inspires him to do more around your house, please start a new thread letting all of us know. Maybe we can all have our DH's job-swap. :lol:
 
Valentinemomm said:
Well said! Those are really good points....you just spelled out my life...no wonder I don't care if mine is gone...all he does is mow the lawn.
Click to expand...
Wow your lucky ! lol just took out garbage 3 cans many bags and four boxes of recycle ( i had Thanksgiving ) you think someone could have helped :(
 
Lived with it for 20yrs. My boys and I LOVED it. He was never gone more than 2 days at a time though. Then when he came home he was home for 2 days. I always worked full time but had family close by and a huge support system. Now he has retired and it has been rough for me and my boys. He is here EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY!!!!
 
Thank you for the responses so far! So much to consider!

DH is in construction and it would be a "move up" in the fact he would no longer carry a tool belt and have a actual title, (although titles don't mean much to us). The vehicle would be his while he is at home too, (with gas and tolls now being paid for by someone else), and a lot of the work is also local. From what I understand, this company is in IL, WI, IA, MI, IN, MO, and KS so those are the places he would travel to. All vehicle expenses would be covered by the company even when he is at home.

He currently works for a much smaller construction company, but they are like family and with the economy they are struggling, but so far have kept him busy and even have given him plenty of overtime.

Those times that he travels he would be paid from the time he leaves until he gets home. (OVERTIME BIG TIME!) The new company is huge in comparison but DH finds it difficult to think of leaving his current company, but with my SD starting at NIU this fall, the extra money will definately come in handy since we plan to take out no loans for college.

DH does do a lot around the house, but he also messes up a lot of things too. It's a trade off there. My girls are getting old enough they can stay home if I have to do a quick run to Jewel, (all my runs there are quick lately:pout:). I think my biggest concern is being all alone in the house with two little girls, for a week or two at a time, (yes, I'm a big chicken). A good alarm system or dog would be at the top of my priority list I do believe. And of course a good neighbor to empty mouse traps! Ewwww
 
My hubby travels off and on. I use to loath it when the kids were babies, but now? I miss him when he is gone, but I don't miss having another person to pick up after. Cooking dinner is also easier and I sleep better (since I don't have him coming to bed later waking me up)....

With that said, my hubby could easily make another 50k a year if he was willing to travel more. I told him no way in hell is he doing that to me ;-) Being gone now and then is totally different from being gone for weeks on end every month!
 
We are about a month in to DH traveling for his new job - he gone 4 nights of every week, about 3 weeks of the month. It was a huge change - but getting used to it. My kids are older (14 & 15) so they help a lot. If they were babies no way. I think it is harder on him, as some one else said - the nights at the hotel are pretty boring for him. He likes his job but those nights are killers for him. Good luck!
 
My dad travels (cross-country) and has done so since before my 11-yo half brother was born.

My stepmom gets a LOT of support (with her kid) from me/us when my dad is gone. However my dad makes a LOT of $$$$$ and doesn't mind throwing it around so that makes quasi-raising my own brother not such a bother :giggles:

Anyway my DH does travel sometimes for jobs (construction also) and while I do miss him, I don't "pine away" for him or anything unless it is 4-5-6 days in succession. It is MUCH harder on him than on us.

Please think of this also in making your decision: men who travel for work eat in restaurants all the time. They don't exercise. They eat because they are bored. They watch porn movies in their hotel rooms (unless you are a Girl 6 like me or a good sexter). Traveling for work is not an especially healthy lifestyle. Make sure you understand that he truly is working on an hourly basis, not a salary or weekly draw. Make sure you really understand the way he will be paid (including hotel stays, meals, etc, does he pay up front? Does the company pay? These are important Qs).

Good luck with your decision. How close is your DH to being able to take his pension? My DHs is still 8 years away, but that's better than 10 which it was when he was laid off.

At my DHs age (47) and how close he is to his pension, I would not put him out on the road for less or equal money. It would have to be an increase in pay or way better benefits or some sort of quid pro quo. That said, I think your DH is a carpenter which is WAY more awful on his body than my DHs job (painter), and I know carpenter-ing makes you old and breaks you up, especially so as the guys get older (I work for a carp who is around 58, his body is shot and he was/is in good shape to start with). Trying to transition into something else before he is too old/too worn out is a valid concern.
 
Traveling doesn't necessarily mean unhealthy... Most hotels have gyms and pools. Movies show up on your bill and most employers have policies that exclude reimbursement for extras. Eating out doesn't have to be bad... Especially if you are married to me... I don't cook (New Year's resolution!)
 
Was just saying, especially in construction, the traveling lifestyle is rough on the guys. Takes a lot of discipline to eat well, exercise, stay out of the bars because of social isolation, be away from your family, and there are hotel bunnies everywhere. My DH is very upfront and graphic about why he doesn't really want to travel more, he avoids it when he can.
 
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