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Parenting WWYD (aka Just Tell Me I'm Right)

Poll Poll Teenagers & Their Goofy Plans

  • Yes, DD14 & her friends should be allowed to go downtown at night alone.

    Votes: 2 2.8%

  • No, your DD14 is nuts & you are right. This is a terrible idea.

    Votes: 69 97.2%
  • Total voters
    71
I voted no just cause you asked us to.

I'd probably be the parent saying OK and then wondering why the other parents are flipping out that I'm the one that said yes.

I forget that what I did as a kid/teenager isn't safe any more.
 
Before I let my daughter go downtown with friends, I'd make sure she had taken a self-defense class. And even then, I'd not allow it at 14 or 15. It also depends on how familiar MY OWN daughter (not one of the friends) is with the area. Yeah, it's a nice little plan in theory, but one wrong turn and they could end up disoriented, lost, and quickly find themselves in a bad situation. If you have to call someone to ask for directions, it could already be too late.

Cell phones give a false sense of security IMO. The phone isn't going to save anyone. Street smarts and being aware of your surroundings are more likely to keep someone out of a bad situation to begin with.

ETA: having an iPhone out makes someone a target to have it stolen right out from under their nose these days.

good call on going with them. :foryou:
 
KG said:
Before I let my daughter go downtown with friends, I'd make sure she had taken a self-defense class. And even then, I'd not allow it at 14 or 15. It also depends on how familiar MY OWN daughter (not one of the friends) is with the area. Yeah, it's a nice little plan in theory, but one wrong turn and they could end up disoriented, lost, and quickly find themselves in a bad situation. If you have to call someone to ask for directions, it could already be too late.

Cell phones give a false sense of security IMO. The phone isn't going to save anyone. Street smarts and being aware of your surroundings are more likely to keep someone out of a bad situation to begin with.

good call on going with them. :foryou:
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shhhhh....she is not going with them...she is going on a date with her hubby......LOL I would be the embarrasing Mom acting all silly...hiding next to buildings on Michigan...trying to be incognito...and getting my DD to notice me...LOL
 
No f'ing way would I allow it!!! We had almost the exact same situation last year with my DD and her friend was turning 16, DD was 15. I was the supposedly the only mom who said no. I could care less. The train they would have had to take back home was one that would have stopped at every station on the way home, the good, the bad, and the ugly. A pack of pretty young girls alone in the city that are clearly not city girls. I hate to think of the things that could happen. DD survived not going and it has left no permanent scarring. :giggles: After I said "no" to this little trip, I found out that the parent of the birthday girl regularly leaves her home alone while going on business trips. That had been going on for a couple of years, so way before she was even 16. IMO you are just asking for trouble.
 
We dropped them off at the L-stop and there where a bunch of CTU teachers getting ready to go down to the rally. I felt better seeing them all as I hope there will be more police downtown for the rally.

They called me when they got there and where heading towards Michigan Ave. to grab something to eat.
 
Thank GOD, I'm NOT the only one who feels this way! I just know that when my DD who is almost 8 now is that age she will want to do the same and I will be like hell no! Plus I was 18 and went to the city on a weekend to visit my GF who was at Depaul at the time and this creepy dude totally tried to harass and follow us....we RAN like hell and got back to her dorm but it scared the **** out of us...and it was a LONG time after that before I felt safe riding the train into the city by myself again!
 
In 7th grade (just turned 13) a couple of friends and I ditched school (in Villa Park) and took a bus to the train and then got on the L and went to a Cubs game. :hides:
 
My DDs made it home save. They went with one guy friend that knows his way around and their girlfriends. They wanted to do a picknik in the park but ended up eating at the Italian Village instead. They said it was all fancy and they all had a nice time.
 
Fuzzysox said:
My DDs made it home save. They went with one guy friend that knows his way around and their girlfriends. They wanted to do a picknik in the park but ended up eating at the Italian Village instead. They said it was all fancy and they all had a nice time.
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Ahhh, the Italian Village...that was the first "nice date" DH took me on. I was 19..and not a fancy type girl...I had no idea that you should get italian...LOL...I got the fried shrimp and it tasted funny...like bad "funny". I ate it any way because I did not want to be picky...I was bad... sicker than a dog the next day....DH laughed at me saying. "who gets fried shrimp at a Italian resturant...LOL :9:
 
:lol: My DD14 would agree with you, Steve. :p

Charlie, see now that is awesome! I keep telling my DD's they are doing it wrong. Sneak around like the rest of us did & quit involving me! :snort: The summer I was going into 8th grade my friends & I snuck downtown for the day. We met up with one of their older brothers who worked at the Merc. It was a blast. Later that summer we snuck off with him & he took us to the racetrack. He was a "good" older brother. :lol:

Well, we all survived. DD14 pretty much ignored us the entire time. :giggles: The restaurant sat us near each other, but that was ok.

While waiting for the northbound train (so before we even left "home") the southbound train came along. I stepped towards it & the girls all ran around me to get on. Failed test #1! :lol: I was like, "Hey, wrong train, geniuses! Off to a GREAT start." @@

While downtown it was clear that they had no idea where they were or where they were walking. No way would they have found Maggiano's on their own. They only know Michigan Ave., which is fine, but it's obvious that they are not ready for "the city."

Coming back the train tunnel was not empty as I had thought, but it was primarily older teenage/early 20's boys. One of the girls (the smart one who goes to St. Ignatius :lol:) said to me, "I don't know about the rest of them, but I'm glad you guys came. I'm scared & you are here! I wouldn't want to be alone!" So the fact that one of them was afraid was good: 1) they weren't totally annoyed that we were there & 2) I think being afraid makes you aware of your surroundings, so at least one of them was paying attention. :lol:

It was fun. Dinner was good!

DD14 is a miser. She got her own bill, which was $14.95 and was disappointed she couldn't use the $10 off coupon on it. :lol: She thought she was getting off easy with a $5 dinner in Chicago. Glad she's thrifty at times, something is rubbing off. ;)
 
As my daughter gets older and we face situations like this my motto I will stand by as I make decisions is....I am her mother first and friend second. Sometimes she might not like me very much but because I love her very much the decisions I make will be based on what I feel is appropriate regardless of what everyone elses parents is allowing. I am so glad you went with your gut and did not go along with the plans because the "other parents were all fine with it."

Glad it worked out well
 
hsmomof6 said:
Of course you are right! I just about screamed just reading about the possibility of them taking that train at night by themselves. You are exactly, completely, totally right!!!!
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VERY WELL STATED ................. and I completely agree............ NO WAY would I let my DD do this either.
 
This whole situation depends on the kids involved. I was born & raised in the city. So I was trained from the beginning how to navigate, who to avoid, and who to get help from(if needed). By eight I was getting to school on my own(one train, one bus, & then walked two blocks over). So by 14, the notion of me going downtown by myself wasn't an issue.

Given these girls are clearly not city kids I wouldn't allow them to go milling around basically waiting for trouble to come find them. DD16 isn't ready yet. She is all suburbs. We're doing some dry runs lately. See what happens.
 
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