Here you go.
http://slickdeals.net/forums/showpost.php?p=42842938&postcount=416
My, oh my. This nutty thing is back on my screen yet again. It seems like only yesterday that I was making snarky comments about this show .. oh wait, it
was only yesterday!
I wonder what new surprises will be in store for us this second season. What interesting new ways to abuse coupons, what new kinds of manufactured drama, what other clichés such as the Random Disinterested People™ and the Las Vegas Beeping™ will return and what new ones will be created? I can't imagine! We shall soon see. So get out your binders, put on your hot pleather boots for old times' sake, and off we go!
Well, here's our first LOL moment right off the bat. The show would like you to know the following: "THE SHOPPING TRIPS DEPICTED IN THIS PROGRAM ARE EXTREME. BECAUSE COUPON POLICIES VARY BY STORE, REGION AND MANUFACTURER, PLEASE REVIEW THE POLICIES OF YOUR LOCAL RETAILER BEFORE SHOPPING." This disclaimer is very deliberate and is on the screen for several seconds, so they REALLY want you to know, in no uncertain terms, that you basically have no **** chance of replicating ANYTHING you are about to see.
Well, the first thirty seconds are already getting me all pumped up, what with coupon divas, bars of soap a-tumbling out of cases, some gal is kissing her stockpile (?), a stack of coupons like 4 inches thick or whatever, coupons falling from the sky like manna from heaven, couponing is such a rush that it's like sex, same lady does some kind of wail, or maybe it's like the sooey-pig call you would do if you are a Razorback fan, I just don't know. I may need that valium and the show hasn't even started yet.
So we kickoff the first piece with some poor teenager (who will be scarred for life) beatboxing while Connecticut Mom Judy is laying down some hardcore rapping, and I turned on the closed captioning to help me understand exactly what was going on here, but then I decided the whole thing was so bizarre that I didn't care anymore, and it didn't matter anyway because the closed caption person was obviously not feeling the beat, because he simply gave up and didn't even try to get the rap words on there. So all I know is Judy is a couponator and a coupon saver and some other stuff, and I'm already after that valium. Judy says No Coupon, No Sale, and she would change her middle name to Coupon if she could. I see no reason why she couldn't - I mean if Chad Ochocinco, or Chad Hachi Go, or whatever the hell is his name today can do it, so can she! I think it only costs like 99 dollars in TX to change your name. Matter of fact, I'm thinking about changing my middle name to TeamMustard, just because I can. Anyway, so now we have Binder porn, grocery store porn, and here is the husband who confirms that Judy is, in fact, The Couponator, and the show even gives us some T2-like POV shots with the red vision. Here is her stockpile which appears to be 90% Wags/CVS style junque, and we have stockpile room porn, stockpile KISSING, buying insurance on the stockpile, stockpile is a family member, etc. Here is the poor little girl who claims to "hate coupons", surely the Couponator will have something to say about that.
Today she is buying a basket of junque for a friend, she wants to get $700 worth of stuff for $150. Off they go to the store, Judy, the husband, and the girl, and I apologize to all of you Connecticuters, but I have no clue what your grocery store is called. Rocko Bros, Rasha Bros., Rockin Buys, I dunno, something. Whatever it is, Mr. Couponator says that it's like entering a battlefield. Her cart is already full of some kind of bottles of something. Now we're on the Old Spice aisle, and she's getting Deos and body wash. Then they are looking at some dreadful Spaghetti-O Clone called "Emeril's Bam Meals Oh Yeah Baby O's Pasta & Meatballs" which supposedly some kid is going to be SO excited about. We sure do spend a lot of close-up camera time on this item, and she apparently doesn't even have a coupon, it's just "a great deal" . So I'm ready to call shenanigans on this one - is this a paid placement? Must watch the credits to see. And Break!
We're back, and with a different angle on the store I see it's called Roche Bros. She's ordered 105 things of Lemonades, much to the little girl's horror, and I wonder why she even came in the first place, quit dragging us down ya whiner!! And already we have dramatic music, tympanis of concern, Judy is already worried that Things Might Not Go Well, the girl hopes we don't go bankrupt, and we are scanning, and scanning, and her total is $648.00. When Judy saw that number, she felt like she had a huge elephant on her chest. She needs every coupon in her arsenal because this is a make-it or break-it moment. Will the family get all of this great stuff? And the cashier asks "Do you have any coupons today?" And really yall, I did not think this show could get any dumber and melodramatic than it already was, but yet here we are. And so we scan a crapload of coupons, and Heavy Metal Music Of Doomâ„¢, and more scanning, and the clever folks on EC have one new item this season - imagine if there was a camera inside the scanner looking out at the cashier, let's call it the ScannerCamâ„¢, and here are some ScannerCam shots of the lady scanning coupons, and no it doesn't make it ANY more interesting at all because scanning is BORING, Random Disinterested Peopleâ„¢, some Random Las Vegas Beepingâ„¢ just for the heck of it, and her total is $79.49, and now all of these people are hugging and stuff, dubbed in cheering, a handful of ladies paid by the production to clap, I assume they got paid with Emeril brand Spaghetti-Os, she's even CRYING she's so happy, what EVER, and now the dang HUSBAND is crying, lord have mercy. Anyhoo, they get all the junque back in the house. The friend comes over to pick up all her bags of stuff, and it's a nice moment.
Here's Detroit mom Faatima, and she is a coupon addict. It's a tragedy to her when a coupon expires - she feels like she's lost a family member!? And we have all of these randomly inserted shots of her filling her basket with all kinds of crap and people dumping boxes full of stuff into her basket. We see her two room stockpile, which Mr. Narrator claims can sustain her family of 3 for 2 years. She has a wall of water, a shelf full of Wisk, a gazillion razors and flosses, etc. She says that coupons are the ticket to getting out of her current rough neighborhood. They want to move to Hawaii, and they never really say clearly how couponing will translate into enabling them to do that, but maybe we will learn more later. She buys 200 newspapers every week (!) to support her couponing habit.
Off they go to the store with a trailer to hold all the stuff, and I didn't see the name of the store. The first thing she's buying is what appears to be single serv boxes of cereal, which I've never seen sold in a store before, but they are $0.25 each. She has an "unrestricted" coupon for $1.00 off 2, and she has 600 of these coupons, and the receipt graphic on my screen says she's getting $300 overage on this deal. Next we move to Mahatma rice, on sale for a dollar and she has a 50¢ coupon, so again free, and she's getting 200 packages of rice, because how can you pass up anything that is free? Two hours into the trip, the daughter says that she's tired and hungry, so Faatima tells her to crack open some cereal, LOL! We're at the checkout, and we start off by scanning the 1200 boxes of cereal, which is The Key To Success For This Whole Trip, and it's not long before we have some fake beeping, and "something's happened to the register" - oh no! With her overage in jeopardy, will Faatima's entire game plan fall apart? Just once, I'd love for the answer to one of these pointless rhetorical questions to be YES .. but we'll have to wait till after the break to see whether my wish will come true!
We're back, and apparently that cash register was simply having a bad day (or perhaps it was paid by the production to create some fake drama), so we've moved to a different register which somehow does have the ability to scan 1200 boxes of cereal without random fake beeping or other mysterious illnesses. So we are scanning, and wait, I lied, register #2 is unable to handle the load either! Faatima has now broken two registers! Will her transaction work out? The store managers decide, what I am assuming, is to scan one item and do a price override on it so that they are ringing up one Mahatma rice at $100.00 instead of 100 at $1.00, and this approach appears to be working, so her total is $1167.67 (note - date of this program is 7-18-2011), and again with asking if Faatima has any coupons. Duh. I believe that i saw SAVON on the checker's shirt. So anyway we are doing a similar thing with counting coupons and putting them in $99.00 at a time and there is all kinds of dramatic music and cymbals crashing and so forth, and 9 hours into the shopping trip (!!) they are finally done and her total was 35 bucks. And they are clapping, and we have the aforementioned sooey-pig call, and they've been there so long that the store is actually CLOSED, lol, and they load her 9 carts of junque into the trailer. Faatima tells us not to listen to the haterz who say you can only use coupons to buy junk food.
