Yesterday I was telling DH about how today I had an eye exam in the morning and then a hair appt in the afternoon. I had arranged for his mom to come watch the kids in the morning and then my mom would come in the afternoon. Well he said, "How about I take the day off? I've got personal days to burn and then our mom's don't need to come over." Sure, sounds great. Do you think I could get my nails done too? Sure, treat yourself.
Fast forward to today...was gone 1 hour this morning for my eye exam, perfect, easy peasy. I came home then DH took a 1 hour conference call for work, mowed the grass. I fed the kids lunch, put them down for naps and then left for the salon. He knew I'd be gone for 4 hours. I prepped dinner, left him with heating instructions. No biggie.
I came home in 3.75 hours and he was a CRAB. Not crabby at me, per se. But short, snippy, overpunishing the kids. Just not his usual happy self. No compliments about my hair, my nails, nothing. We eat dinner in silence, clean up kitchen, put baby to bed, he is still short. He's getting ready to go to church for a meeting and I finally say..."Guess today didn't go over so well. Looks like I won't be doing this again." He gets all defensive and claims he "just had a bad afternoon, I had nothing to do with me being gone, blah, blah, blah."
But here's how my mommy brain works...."Mommy takes time to do something for herself....It backfires....Daddy is crabby which makes everybody crabby....guess I'll never take time for myself again so we can avoid this." Anyone else experience this type of guilt when you choose to do something for yourself/by yourself???
Same here, I hardley do anything for myself since I know what the outcome will be. Especially if I am gone for more then 1 hour. I have three boys.....
Hugs...but as everyone says.... YOU DESERVE some time for yourself..... the problem is I can't enjoy it... boo hoo! **HUGS***
Valerie I totally feel your pain. There is also the evil twin of a crabby husband - when you come home and the kids are happy and the house is clean and hubby is in a great mood. And then you think you feel not needed and guilty for being gone!!!
only about parenting choice issues not about DH being w/DD but then again I only have one...still your DH was just as happy as you to have such a big family right? I don't think you should feel guilty...you deserve time to yourself as well. just sayin' val.
I know that I need a break every now and again, we all do. DH encourages me often to take the time to do something for myself, I just don't usually do it. And DH is an awesome Dad and today was not typical behavior for him, and maybe that's why it irked me so much. But let me just say that I get the Mommy guilt feeling even when I go out grocery shopping at night by myself.
Took me almost four years before I left Lex just for "me" time. I did have to leave him for work and other such events, but never just for me to have fun.
Poor Lawson isn't getting the same. Although I haven't had "me" time since he's been born, he gets left with someone else usually with Lex while I run errands and do major housework. I still haven't figured out how to do those two things without becoming majorly frazzled.
I'm sure he doesn't care, but I feel bad he doesn't have my undivided attention like Lex did.
I get it when the kid wants to play a board game with me and I say no. I know the day is going to come when he will stop asking and I will regret the "no's" but sometimes I just don't feel like playing a game. :cry1:
I get it when the kid wants to play a board game with me and I say no. I know the day is going to come when he will stop asking and I will regret the "no's" but sometimes I just don't feel like playing a game. :cry1:
Canadia, I used to feel bad about that too. But then I realized my second DD will get my undivided attention on the back end, when my first DD leaves for school. It's not the same, but it all evens out.
Oh boy Val can I feel your pain. Since going to work, I leave for a MAXIMUM of four hours, usually only two or so. and DH is a moody SOB when I get home.
I've always been a "I need me time" kind of person. If I don't get I'm a **** to be around. So w/the ex if he wanted to avoid coming home to evil, he made sure to support me in that.
Now he has them on the weekends so I'm free as a bird(well almost I have DD16) for two days & I love every minute of it!! :giggles:
DH is really not around a lot. In order for me to happen I take the boys to my parents once a week. This year i also started getting my nails done regularly every other week. At first I felt guilty of the time and money spent. Not anymore. Lets just say that I live for my two hours of me time every week.
Oh and I also joined a fitness center that included child care that I like and am comfortable with. This also gives me a break many times a week.
