#1. Do you take 20 minutes to download a two minute video clip when it's faster to rent the video from your local Blockbuster Video store that is just around the corner?
(If you answered yes give yourself 5 points, if you answered no, give yourself 1 point)
#2. Do you spend three hours in a chat room convincing others that you are Brad Pitt or even Pamela Anderson Lee when in reality you are more like Drew Carrey or Roseanne at home alone again on a Saturday night?
(If you answered no, give yourself 1 point, if you answered yes, give yourself 5 points.)
#3. When an internet friend asks you to send a picture of yourself, do you send a .gif off of http://www.sexy.com?
(If you answered yes, give yourself 5 points, if you answered no give yourself 1 point.)
#4. Have you reduced yourself to e-mailing your neighbor and wondering how you can still get that cup of sugar?
(If you answered no, give yourself 1 point, if you answered yes give yourself 5 points.)
#5. Does your sex life consist of spending countless hours searching for nude shots of Jennifer Lopez or Ricky Martin on the internet at http://www.horny.com?
(If you answered yes give yourself 5 points, if you answered no give yourself 1 point.)
#6. Do you have more then six e-mail accounts in order to make yourself feel important and very very special?
(If you answered no give yourself 1 point, if you anwered yes give yourself 5 points.)
#7. Do you use WebTV on a big screen TV in order to feed your ego with that nude picture of yourself you posted?
(If you answered yes give yourself 5 points, if you answered no give yourself 1 point.)
#8. Do you measure your sexual power by downloading a computer game in order to acheive mega level 10?
(If you answered no give yourself 1 point, if you answered yes give yourself 5 points.)
#9. Do you keep switching ISP's in order to get the free one month trial periods and avoid all internet fees?
(If you answered yes give yourself 5 points, if you answered no give yourself 1 point.)
#10. Do you post in news groups in order to get spammed because you realize it is the only e-mail you'll ever get?
(If you answered no give yourself 1 point, if you answered yes give yourself 5 points.)
#11. Do you download television listings off of the internet with a 14.4 modem only to realize that your very favorite television show actually ended only fifteen minutes ago?
(If you answered yes give yourself 5 points, if you answered no give yourself 1 point.)
#12. Do you waste precious internet time taking useless nosey online quizes like the one your reading?
(If you answered no give yourself 1 point, if you answered yes give yourself 5 points.)
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If you scored 1 to 30, Congratulations, you are a jock! You don't live on the internet but you do have a problem with steroids. You also drink old beer and fart! There may be hope for you yet!
If you scored 30 to 60, you are an internet geek and this is probably the only kind of scoring you've had in a long time. In the words of the immortal Beavis and Butthead, "You will never get some!", however you can make a nifty looking web page! You may wear a pocket protecter and speak in computer terms refering to moving your bowels as "downloading"! Even though you rule the world and have all of the brains you still can't change the TV channel without the **** remote control.
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I don't get it?
Signature?
What is all this?
mailto:masterchief@aliensoup.com
(If you answered yes give yourself 5 points, if you answered no, give yourself 1 point)
#2. Do you spend three hours in a chat room convincing others that you are Brad Pitt or even Pamela Anderson Lee when in reality you are more like Drew Carrey or Roseanne at home alone again on a Saturday night?
(If you answered no, give yourself 1 point, if you answered yes, give yourself 5 points.)
#3. When an internet friend asks you to send a picture of yourself, do you send a .gif off of http://www.sexy.com?
(If you answered yes, give yourself 5 points, if you answered no give yourself 1 point.)
#4. Have you reduced yourself to e-mailing your neighbor and wondering how you can still get that cup of sugar?
(If you answered no, give yourself 1 point, if you answered yes give yourself 5 points.)
#5. Does your sex life consist of spending countless hours searching for nude shots of Jennifer Lopez or Ricky Martin on the internet at http://www.horny.com?
(If you answered yes give yourself 5 points, if you answered no give yourself 1 point.)
#6. Do you have more then six e-mail accounts in order to make yourself feel important and very very special?
(If you answered no give yourself 1 point, if you anwered yes give yourself 5 points.)
#7. Do you use WebTV on a big screen TV in order to feed your ego with that nude picture of yourself you posted?
(If you answered yes give yourself 5 points, if you answered no give yourself 1 point.)
#8. Do you measure your sexual power by downloading a computer game in order to acheive mega level 10?
(If you answered no give yourself 1 point, if you answered yes give yourself 5 points.)
#9. Do you keep switching ISP's in order to get the free one month trial periods and avoid all internet fees?
(If you answered yes give yourself 5 points, if you answered no give yourself 1 point.)
#10. Do you post in news groups in order to get spammed because you realize it is the only e-mail you'll ever get?
(If you answered no give yourself 1 point, if you answered yes give yourself 5 points.)
#11. Do you download television listings off of the internet with a 14.4 modem only to realize that your very favorite television show actually ended only fifteen minutes ago?
(If you answered yes give yourself 5 points, if you answered no give yourself 1 point.)
#12. Do you waste precious internet time taking useless nosey online quizes like the one your reading?
(If you answered no give yourself 1 point, if you answered yes give yourself 5 points.)
***************************************** *
If you scored 1 to 30, Congratulations, you are a jock! You don't live on the internet but you do have a problem with steroids. You also drink old beer and fart! There may be hope for you yet!
If you scored 30 to 60, you are an internet geek and this is probably the only kind of scoring you've had in a long time. In the words of the immortal Beavis and Butthead, "You will never get some!", however you can make a nifty looking web page! You may wear a pocket protecter and speak in computer terms refering to moving your bowels as "downloading"! Even though you rule the world and have all of the brains you still can't change the TV channel without the **** remote control.
----------------------------
I don't get it?
Signature?
What is all this?
mailto:masterchief@aliensoup.com
