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Long distance dating

Ravenfreak

Ravenfreak

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So do you believe that online dating works? I personally tried it twice and both times it didn't work. The first "girl" I dated kept hiding a secret from me, "she" never really came out and said it, she instead told me that she was a "model." Deep down I have a feeling that was a guy pretending to be a girl... As I seen pictures of the girl they were using as their profile pic on Myspace. (Yes it was that long ago. xD) As for the other girl... well that was actually my own fault. See at the time I was "dating" her, my ex was developing feelings for me again. So I broke it off with the online girl to go back with my ex, and I completely broke her heart... I felt bad but I just knew that a long distance relationship just doesn't work for me. :\  So I believe they do work with some people, and if you really really try your hardest. In my case, I just need to have a physical relationship and you can't have that in a long distance relationship... They just don't work out well for me. :\ What are your views?
 
If you had been dating said person quite a bit while actually meeting up it might work but dating sites and what not just do not work, you see them on TV all the time and it's all just utter bullshit.
 
I personally don't think it's possible. I tried once and the communication eventually fell apart when I was busy with real life commitments. It was impossible if we didn't communicate, so unless you really have commitment to keep the line open in any situation, it will be really hard.
 
It makes me sad how some people start online relationship just because they think it is cool and then get surprised when they didn't work out when they didn't take it seriously in the first place.

For me being in an online relationship had a lot of pain involved. I didn't just decide it would be fun to try it. I was simply best friends with someone. We were honest and grew a deep bond. We were happy with that but eventually our feelings grew to the point that we wanted to be together. As many of you say not being able to have physical contact does get to you quickly. We zig-zagged dealing with our feelings, trying to distance ourselves and eventually deciding to try our best to be together. We researched what we actually would need in terms of visas, fares, permissions. We created some goals and worked towards them until we managed to turn it into a reality. It wasn't smooth and in reality a lot of the process lasted way longer and included more tests and travelling that we originally thought it would, but I can tell you now - six years after our marriage - it has been all worth it. Not only has this experience serve us to know beyond any doubt we want to spend the rest of our lives together it has helped us not to take for granted each other.
 
Chupacabras said:
It makes me sad how some people start online relationship just because they think it is cool and then get surprised when they didn't work out when they didn't take it seriously in the first place.

For me being in an online relationship had a lot of pain involved. I didn't just decide it would be fun to try it. I was simply best friends with someone. We were honest and grew a deep bond. We were happy with that but eventually our feelings grew to the point that we wanted to be together. As many of you say not being able to have physical contact does get to you quickly. We zig-zagged dealing with our feelings, trying to distance ourselves and eventually deciding to try our best to be together. We researched what we actually would need in terms of visas, fares, permissions. We created some goals and worked towards them until we managed to turn it into a reality. It wasn't smooth and in reality a lot of the process lasted way longer and included more tests and travelling that we originally thought it would, but I can tell you now - six years after our marriage - it has been all worth it. Not only has this experience serve us to know beyond any doubt we want to spend the rest of our lives together it has helped us not to take for granted each other.
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That's really amazing. I respect couples who had long distance relationships before marriage; it must've taken lots of both sides to compensate the missing components. After marriage it may or may not be different; I'm not there yet so I don't know but the chance of being separated may not pose that much threat since you're bound already.

At least in my case I take relationships seriously so I didn't exactly do it simply for fun. There was a need for that connection with someone else and we decided to give it a try despite so much limitations. We could probably be more serious like what you did before, but I guess we were not ready for that level.
 
Yeah. Our relationship didn't happen overnight. We met struggled years before accepting our feelings and what to do with them. You need to be sure you want to do it because it is a huge toll. I was basically raised close to my family so our marriage and my decision to move overseas hit them with the force of a trailer truck. There was no way to make things soft and the decision itself was probably the biggest one I had to take. I wouldn't recommend people to move to a country they haven't been to like that but that was what I chose.

If you're not ready yet, that is fine. It is a process and you have a long life ahead of you, you two. It is a joint decision and it is only when and if you two feel you can carry through it. Sometimes my partner has spoken about how he wished we acted sooner but I feel grateful of our experiences as they were. We had a lot of time to question and try other things, time to mature and grow as a couple even with the distance.
 
I think it depends on the couple, when I initially moved out of state for college and my girl friend lived in the other state, I felt extremely smothered because she would want to speak to me all the time and want my attention at any point that I had free time.

I have a girl friend now that more or less did the same thing, she went out of state for school but we both give each other their space and try to leave room for conversations when we actually see each other. I couldn't do it for super long term but seeing as she is going for a 4 year degree I think I'll be okay ;)
 
Never really tried it. The communication would have to be amazing, or the couple would have to trust each other a lot. If both of those don't happen, there is nothing but misery in that relationship.
 
I think long distance relationship can be hard because people normally crave attention from their significant other and want to spend time with their significant other. That can be hard to do if you are close together. I'm not saying it's impossible, it's just extremely difficult. That's why most don't make it.
 
I thinks this types of dates is very hard and need more time to have a great relation because i think longdistance is very difficult because only 30% this type of relationship worked it. And one thing you need to know before date longdistance we need to learn or to know each other because many people not great after we met him.
 
I don't think it's gonna workout.Based on my two experienced.The first one,The reason was lack of trust.Even though we been together for almost 4 years.The second one,The reason was simple my ex married someone else hahaha.
 
As much as I would want to say they will never work, I can't since there are a lot of couples who have been married already right now. They are product of online dating, textmates or callmates. Maybe it's just a matter of communication, because sometimes there are online couples who have more deeper connection than those couples who are together, sometimes they value all those means of communication more than those that are together and taking advantages the importance of communication.
 
I've never had long distance relationship. But I salute those who survive this kind of relationship. I heard It wasn't really easy.
 
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