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I HAVE HAD IT! I QUIT!

Like many others I too was that kid. I wish I had an answer I could give you that would solve everything. Change of scenery, counseling, drug intervention (if needed) all helped me. My family and I say all the time it is a miracle that I survived the stupid stuff I was doing. Teenagers are icky (I have one now) thats why god makes em soo dang cute as babies (so we get attached). You are not a bad mom for feeling the way you feel you are human. Praying for you
 
From what I understand the more you forbid something the more they are going to do it. I understand that her boyfriend is abusive but telling her she cant see him will only make her rebel. Try getting her into couseling and see if that helps.
 
If it helps -- I have an 18-year-old daughter. After counseling, the cops, the ER visits..looking backwards...it was influence (and you can guess what that was) from a guy she was seeing. However -- the counselor suggested we get a divorce because the relationship had become destructive for both of us. Next Monday she is flying to a different state. A relative has rented an apartment and has agreed to support her (and help her attend college) while she works part-time. I firmly believe the real problem is that we are both intelligent strong minded women and living together when she is trying to establish her independence becomes destructive (picture two bulls in a very small pen). What I am saying may not be popular -- but it is my truth, and backed by professionals and my entire family -- if this child chooses to create chaos and destruction in your household -- she will need to create her own household. Yes -- it is difficult because we care A LOT. But as my son says -- some people simply have to learn EVERYTHING for themselves and therefore you cannot stand in their way. Believe me, there are many of us here who feel your pain. (next time around I am having pomeranians)
 
I'm sorry for all you are going through. Have you brought her to a counselor/psychologist and considered family counseling? Is she depressed? I know that often times it just needs to take time to work itself out, but if you haven't sought any kind of professional help for your dd AND you and your dh/entire family - please consider it.

As you stated, you are all suffering as a result of your dd's behavior. Your other sons have a mom and dad who are too stressed out and aren't able to be there for them in the way you would like since so much drama/focus goes out to your dd. Everyone would probably benefit from some help.

I'm really sorry for what you are going through, my 7 y/o dd is a handful already and I already worry that she will be like that as a teenager.
 
She has been to counseling, a therapist/psychologist they don't see this behavior while we are there for her visits and our family visits. She is calm and SO VERY INTELLEGENT she shows them what they want to see and tells them what they want to hear.

Today has been another VERY rough day for me. It's been emotional break down one after another all morning. To start my day off my mother called me this morning and ****ed me out for not visiting her in Missouri the last 1 1/2 yrs to 2 years. She is upset we are going to my husbands parents for Thanksgiving for the 2nd year. She refused to except that if we did not go to visit them that we would only see his parents maybe 1 time per year. She and my stepfather visit multiple times through the year and we see them much more often. Due to work transfer my stepfather and mother had to move Missouri, BUT they moved not us and I dont have the time to take off work to travel to them. They are here 5-6 times per year if not more. No offense but they moved not me, they should travel back. This was before our economy was bad, my stepfather could have found another job, they decided to go to Missouri.

Then I got a call from my oldest sons math teacher this morning. He is failing out of math, his teacher is very concerned with his behavior and attitude/domineer lately. Says he is very nervous lately (twirling his hair) and seems as though something is bothering him. Said he has been this way for a bit. He is not even making an effort to do his work in math. The situation with my daughter just arouse again Monday so not sure what is going on with him. I did sign a release today and faxed it back to the school for him to meet with the school counselor / social worker. I know he has mentioned issues with other kids at school. Maybe she can get him to talk, he won’t talk to us at all lately. Then my husband yelled at me because the teacher has not called us prior to this to inform us of the fact that it is now TOO LATE for my son and he will fail this class. He will also have to take summer school which we have NO way of getting him to and from because we work. My son is getting mostly A's and B's in the rest of his classes, and once C in a class. I don't think that is bad. I did call my son this morning and had him pulled from class to talk to me on the phone. I reminded him to write down all his homework and asked him to bring home his notebook and math book to review for his test tomorrow. Told him that him and I would be "hanging out" together tonight and reviewing. Maybe I will grab some pizza for dinner and make it more fun for him!?!?!?! I reminded him of how much I loved him before I hung up with him and told him to have a great day. It helped me to get on with my day hearing his voice and how happy he sounded that I called him. :cartwheel:
 
Let me just say (without getting into any details) that I had the most WONDERFUL conversation with Barb while I was on my lunch break today.

THANKS Barb! You showed me that you are not only there for me with couponing and deal hunting but as a real person, a friend! Thanks!!!
 
What a day. :huggy:

How old is your son? Don't they do progress reports? You should be notified sooner that he's doing that bad in math.

Oh and I have fights with my Mom too about my MIL....it gets old doesn't it?
 
HarrisFamily said:
She has been to counseling, a therapist/psychologist they don't see this behavior while we are there for her visits and our family visits. She is calm and SO VERY INTELLEGENT she shows them what they want to see and tells them what they want to hear.

Today has been another VERY rough day for me. It's been emotional break down one after another all morning. To start my day off my mother called me this morning and ****ed me out for not visiting her in Missouri the last 1 1/2 yrs to 2 years. She is upset we are going to my husbands parents for Thanksgiving for the 2nd year. She refused to except that if we did not go to visit them that we would only see his parents maybe 1 time per year. She and my stepfather visit multiple times through the year and we see them much more often. Due to work transfer my stepfather and mother had to move Missouri, BUT they moved not us and I dont have the time to take off work to travel to them. They are here 5-6 times per year if not more. No offense but they moved not me, they should travel back. This was before our economy was bad, my stepfather could have found another job, they decided to go to Missouri.

Then I got a call from my oldest sons math teacher this morning. He is failing out of math, his teacher is very concerned with his behavior and attitude/domineer lately. Says he is very nervous lately (twirling his hair) and seems as though something is bothering him. Said he has been this way for a bit. He is not even making an effort to do his work in math. The situation with my daughter just arouse again Monday so not sure what is going on with him. I did sign a release today and faxed it back to the school for him to meet with the school counselor / social worker. I know he has mentioned issues with other kids at school. Maybe she can get him to talk, he won’t talk to us at all lately. Then my husband yelled at me because the teacher has not called us prior to this to inform us of the fact that it is now TOO LATE for my son and he will fail this class. He will also have to take summer school which we have NO way of getting him to and from because we work. My son is getting mostly A's and B's in the rest of his classes, and once C in a class. I don't think that is bad. I did call my son this morning and had him pulled from class to talk to me on the phone. I reminded him to write down all his homework and asked him to bring home his notebook and math book to review for his test tomorrow. Told him that him and I would be "hanging out" together tonight and reviewing. Maybe I will grab some pizza for dinner and make it more fun for him!?!?!?! I reminded him of how much I loved him before I hung up with him and told him to have a great day. It helped me to get on with my day hearing his voice and how happy he sounded that I called him. :cartwheel:
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Hugs! That sucks!

Does your school run on a different schedule? In my area failing the first marking period would not put you in summer school, you would have to fail the year.
 
I was that teenager also, my parents had no clue what I was doing until I got pregnant, I had been skipping school, going out with a 21 yr old guy, not coming home at night (my mom worked midnights and my dad was a truck driver) for some reason they trusted me. I was drinking like a fish and if they did ask me about it I would just freak out on them and tell them I was going to kill myself. I put them through Hell. Having a baby slowed me down a little, but after she was born I just moved out so they couldnt have any say in my life. You are right to try, when she does eventually come around she will remember how hard you tried to keep her safe. For me, I think my transformation came about because of all the prayer my family said for me. My grandma probably wore out a rosary trying to get me to see the light, and when I finally sat down and realized the pain I was causing my family, it didn't take long to straighten up. I also figured out living on welfare with the guy I "loved" so much wasn't a bed of roses either. In the end I begged my dad to let me move back in.
Good Luck and may God's love help reunite your family
 
Yeah that's what I thought about that they have only been in school for a couple months, how could he be failing already? Ok to be honest with you maybe I was so upset this morning I think I heard this wrong. I will clarify this afternoon when I speak to her again.

Also my DS is 12 almost 13.
 
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