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Getting abuse.

hannah

hannah

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I've been getting abuse from my ex's friends, mainly anonymously accusing me of lying about my ex being abusive. They're obviously going to think he's perfectly fine, they're his friends and have never dated him! But anyway, I don't care about all the accusations of lying and the insults because I know what I went through and I'd show them proof if I could, but they're threatening to bring my current boyfriend into it all. They've pretty much brought up everything from my past, including my other ex and a lot of the things they've said are completely untrue and made up. Someone's threatened to contact my boyfriend to tell him about my past and basically tell him that I'm some evil, psychopathic liar and I'm scared they'll do it and he'll believe it or act differently toward me. He was acting strange today actually. I don't want to lose him, especially in this way! :'(
I'll be honest, me and my ex's didn't end on a particularly good note though. My first ex cheated on me, my second ex was abusive. My first ex is just a pure **** who will spread rumours about me for the fun of it and my second ex is psycho and has an army of friends and family to fight his battles for him. They keep asking me questions about things and I've answered them but whatever I say, they just twist it and/or say I'm lying when it's the complete truth! I can't win and I don't know how to stop them from contacting him. I was going to say something like, "if you message him, then your identity would be revealed and I could report you for harassment" but I'm scared that won't put them off, but encourage them further. I know I should probably stop answering it all now and I'm considering deleting all the messages but I just feel the need to correct all these false rumours and I guess the messages are proof of harassment. However, I don't like my personal life being put up on my ask.fm so publicly. Also, if I don't react, that'd probably push them to contact my boyfriend in the hopes of a reaction. I've just hidden my relationship status on FB so it's harder for them to get to his profile unless they remember his name which I doubt they could. I just don't know what to do. :(
 
I think maybe you should talk to your boyfriend about it.
You have nothing to hide. Your ex's friends should be ashamed, and are disgusting.

And you should cut all contact with these people who are harassing you. They are not worth your time.
 
Talk to your boyfriend, tell him everything you might possibly be ashamed about, get it into the open.

I had people threatening to message Kirk nasty things and because our relationship was fairly new at the time I was really, really scared he might believe them. Someone wanted to tell him I wasn't a virgin and I'd lost it in a disgraceful way and another one was that I was dating someone behind his back or a really outrageous one was that they wanted to convince him I was actually younger than I was and he was somehow being creepy. I set it straight though and told them to piss off basically and that myself and Kirk's relationship was too strong. I told them I told Kirk everything, which I did. I told Kirk people were threatening to message him lies and he was prepared for it, though it was two years ago now so I can't remember exactly what I said. Anywho, I also have had long chats with Kirk about my past, things he should know about me, mistakes I've made and very dark secrets. Now he knows everything about me that could've possibly shocked him and I have nothing else to hide so I'm in a pretty good position :) Try that?

Also, I know this always sounds lame but tell parents/teachers?
 
I don't want to bring him into it at all. It's all in the past and I don't want to bring it up to him. Our relationship is going good, I'd feel like I was disrupting the calm water with something which isn't particularly important. They're contacting me through an anonymous website so I can't really stop it. I don't know if I should just ignore it, delete the messages, stick up for myself or whatever. I just want to discourage them from contacting my boyfriend because it's unfair to drag him into it. I know it's not completely the end of the world if they messaged him, because I'd tell him the truth and tell him that they're lying to cause problems, but I'm scared that he'll consider what they say and be put off, because a lot of the **** they're saying is that I'm some psychopathic liar and lying about my ex being abusive to get attention when in fact, there's many people I never told which probably contributes to the fact that no-one believes me. I don't have any true friends so I had no-one to speak to and tell them what he was doing throughout the relationship. I spoke to one girl but I don't think I told her too much and her boyfriend is one of the people who gave me abuse and accused me of lying too. :sad: I have no-one, apart from one guy who's friends with my ex but knows my ex is mentally unstable and capable of acting like he did with me. He doesn't accuse me of lying and generally believes me for the most part. He just won't speak up about it in fear of being attacked. I may message him to tell him to stop everyone contacting me.
 
I have been wanting to just open up to him but I don't want to risk ruining the relationship because of this. I never open up to anyone, especially people I'm still getting to know. There are many things in my past that I'm ashamed of and I think it'd make him see me in a new light if he knew, which I wish to avoid. So when all of this drama is based completely on my past, I just can't handle it and I don't want to tell him everything in my past, or anyone else to do so for that matter. Nowadays, I just wear a fake smile for him so he doesn't notice anything is wrong. :sad:
 
[MENTION=2]Lauren[/MENTION] I'm scared that if I stop, it may encourage them to message my boyfriend in the hopes of a reaction or just to cause me pain. :sad:
 
Hannah, just let it drop. The only reason that they are doing this to you is that they enjoy getting a reaction out of you! Don't give it to them. If you ignore them, they'll get bored and move on.

Secondly, I know that you have problems opening up, but if you really like your current boyfriend, he deserves and needs to know what is going on. That way, they can't catch him by surprise and if he doesn't know you that well yet, there's no telling what he'll believe. Tell him!

Good luck!
 
*sigh* I have no-one to talk to anymore, who genuinely cares about me. I feel like everyone hates me. I'm feeling so low. :( Even the person who's barely even a friend to me allows her boyfriend to go through her account to give me abuse. It hurts.
 
Thanks.

He's coming round later again but I'm just not in the mood. I've been crying too. I feel like telling him not to come round but he'll know something is up and I just can't bring myself to speak to him. I don't cry in front of anyone and he's never seen me cry.
 
We're here to listen to you, Hannah! You're not alone. I've been there and done that. I don't have a lot of people to talk to, but I can always find someone who cares here.

I still think your boyfriend needs to know. If he wants to come around, just tell him you're not well. You're not lying.
 
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