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Parenting WWYD (aka Just Tell Me I'm Right)

Poll Poll Teenagers & Their Goofy Plans

  • Yes, DD14 & her friends should be allowed to go downtown at night alone.

    Votes: 2 2.8%

  • No, your DD14 is nuts & you are right. This is a terrible idea.

    Votes: 69 97.2%
  • Total voters
    71
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Peacock76

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So, it's DD14's bff's 15th birthday. The other day DD told me "The Plan" for her birthday:

DD14, BFF15 and 3 girlfriends are going to take the 5:30pm train to Chicago, have dinner & come home.

DD & this group have gone downtown on the train before, always during the week during the day. BFF15's mom works downtown, so the girls take the train, shop Michigan Ave. and Mom meets them by the train & rides home with them.

That is TOTALLY different to me than the plan for tonight. In a nutshell I told DD "No freaking way" and got the pouting, yelling & whining "WHY??? OMG, Mommmmmm! It's ok with everyone else's mom!!" response I was anticipating.

Why: First of all, I do not care about "everyone else's mom's" opinion on this. Because it's night time, the train tunnel will be empty at 9:00pm when they want to head back. Hardly anyone will be going to the suburbs at that time & the tunnel will be filled with vagrants & crazy people. (JMHO, but I am not wrong. :giggles: ) It is my assumption that 5 young girls, dressed in their expensive clothing, texting on their iPhones & DD14 carrying her $600 camera will attract the attention of people who will likely rob, rape & murder them. I told DD14 this is a horseshit idea & there is NO WAY I will allow it. I wouldn't allow DD18 to do this. This is an activity for 28 year olds, not 15 year olds. When DH & I do this with our friends, *I* am nervous...and we are 30's-40's and have MEN with us. I (very kindly) offered to pick them up at the restaurant afterwards, but that is apparently beyond embarrassing.

After talking to BFF15's mom, the new plan is that she & her boyfriend and DH & I will take the train with them (separate train cars) and then we will all go out to dinner (separate tables) and take the train home.

:snicker:

I so love these opportunities to remind DD14 that she is, in fact, 14 and not 32. And now I get to go to Maggiano's. I've never been. I hope it's good! :)

Today I am getting the "I can't believe you're doing this to me!" I am going to attempt to figure out the "poll" option here so you can all tell me I'm right. ;)
 
Of course you are right! I just about screamed just reading about the possibility of them taking that train at night by themselves. You are exactly, completely, totally right!!!!
 
Rock on mom!!! No way would I ever allow that, but I don't mind being the mean mom and not like the rest. I should have been dead several times in my teens for the stuff I did without my parents knowledge. The city is not safe especially at night and the train, no freakin way. In this case I would have made them stay local. 14 and 15 year old are not food critics and can eat somewhere closer to home that is safe. I'm spazing out at the thought of my girl attending DePaul next fall because of our **** murder rate in Chicago.
 
17 year old wanted to go with her friends downtown by train on a Saturday night. Nope no way, Weekdays are a different story. Tell them she is free to go with the ggroup as long as a dad follows them. He doesn't need to hang with the group but just be there as backup and the girls can ignore him all they want. Young girls are silly and niave.
 
No FLIPPIN way! YOU are right! They are invincible at this age and nothing can happen to them, but we know different. Good Decision IMHO!
 
Hell no!

Your DD should be happy that you did not totally scratch the plan. Totally momtastic of you to allow the plan to still go on with you there but unseen....YOU ARE RIGHT!

Night time downtown is no place for a group of young girls!
 
Nanny, that is the other thing I told her! This is a 15th birthday for goodness sake, there is nothing wrong with celebrating at Aurelios. This isn't a milestone, and a local dinner is totally appropriate. :dunce: They wanted to eat at the Grand Lux Cafe. I said, "Well la-de-freaking-da, DD. I don't give a rat's **** where you wanted to eat, it's not happening."

It's a terrifying thing when you say something & immediately realize you're channeling your own mother. I swore up & down that when I had kids I would never call them "Sister" or say "rat's ****." :hides: If she keeps it up today, she's going to get a "Sister" lecture and I'll be 2:2. :snort:
 
No way!!!!!!! You are such a great mom for not allowing that. This is one of those things she won't understand until she has her own kids. Enjoy your dinner. We love Maggianos. Their stuffed mushrooms are to die for.
 
Well, even if DD14 is mad at me, at least her BFF isn't. I texted her the "Happy Birthday" song early this morning & just got a response: Love you!!!

Apparently she is over me butting in to her plans, now I just need to get Dd14 over it. :lol:
 
So out of all the parents, you're the only one with a brain?!! They were really going to allow that?!
 
I feel your pain. My DDs are getting ready right this minute to go downtown with their friends. They have NEVER been downtown alone and I'm thinking umm I should just go and shadow but they do need to get out there and learn.

I'm torn and DH said let them go. I'm not happy at all about it but knowing them they will come home quickly when they don't feel comfortable.

And as for going at night HELL NO!
 
Ellen, what's the Maggianos GC deal at Jewel??

Fuzzy, how old are your girls? The first time DD & her friends went downtown I was a wreck. To me, getting there is easy- it's getting home that is confusing at Millenium station with all of the tracks & train choices. They still haven't done that part alone because the other mom always meets up with them. I'm still a wreck every time, but she is good about texting me regularly, so at least I know she is ok hourly.
 
There's this thread. (B$100 G$10 off $50 gas card)

http://www.couponerswanted.com/showthread.php?t=89555

I haven't gotten anything but Amazon, but I did see the sign at the GCMall and it only says excludes Visa/MC. People have bought Carson's, Target and others. While deciding what to get yesterday, I think I saw Maggiano's for sale there, but didn't try it
 
My DDs turned 17 last Sunday.

The problem is that they are not very street savy. DH and I grew up in Chicago we know where the bad lands are and what to avoid. These two are too naive..
 
I agree with you- no way for 14 year old. But just to clarify, the train station by Millenium Park is relatively safe at all hours. I have lived in Chicago for 14 years, and RARELY felt unsafe anywhere. This summer of course there have been hoodlums running and robbing up and down Michigan, but if you use commonsense (rare with tourists) you can avoid many cons and criminals. I never stop and have a conversation about "buying" their "newppaer" (usually the free Onion) or postcards. I stare straight ahead with a blank expression, works most of time.

Chicago is a great city-more should come downtown and enjoy it.

ps
Put in ear buds in, even if you're not listening to anything.
 
I always say--Yes I trust you--it is the other people I do not trust. I can not keep you safe from the other idiots riding the train. You hear of things all the time--so it is my JOB to take care of you at least until you are 18. So--if something happened to you then I would never be able to forgive myself. So---my job says--you are not old enough to go this late at night--yes, I know your friends are good friends and good kids--BUT the other people in the city might see that as an opportunity to hurt one of you
I love you too much to have you go on your own--so here is your choice
stay home with me
or have the parents come and chaperone. PERIOD---This is because I love you!!
 
If you are doing Maggianos which is good, why not go to a closer one? There's Oak Brook, Schaumburg, Old Orchard, Naperville
 
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