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How do I help my younger brother?

Phossix

Phossix

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I'm sure a lot of you know that the School Yard is a very prominent place for bullying. In fact, I'm sure that at some point in your life, a majority of you have experienced bullying in some form - be it through yourself or someone close to you. Bullying sucks, I can safely tell you that from excessive past experience. After going through a wave of abuse in Secondary, I can assure you I have little to no self-confidence whatsoever, and I find myself hating myself based on what the people said to me, even when I try and tell myself to think otherwise. My issues are not the point of the topic, however. It's more about the fact that my brother has recently been picked on again.

Now, my brother is no stranger to bullying. He's been bullied previously. To begin with, he would get attacked by a boy three years his senior. The boy literally threw him down at one point, and put his foot on his neck. This continued for a while until he left for secondary school two years ago. It left me concerned that this boy could behave like this, and not be suspended. Especially for attacking someone as young as 9. But, as it seems, the school did nothing about this, but to inform my parents.

Despite the boy leaving, however, my brother still frequently gets picked on. At one point, one boy convinced the rest of the class to completely ignore him. This went by for a long time. It wasn't until one of the monitors found my brother sitting on his own that the school attempted to remedy this. The teacher decided to have a 'party' for Mark, where everyone in the class apologized to him. I'd imagine some of those apologies were half-assed, but to be quite honest, my brother does seem to have made a few friends. However, I've been informed today that he's still being picked on at school.

Now, I never experienced any bullying until my seventh year of Primary, and it never really escalated until Secondary school. My brother is about to finish for Secondary School on Wednesday, and already he's experienced quite a lot of hostility. And I'll be quite honest - I do predict a lot more grievance there for him. I don't want my brother to turn out the way I did, but I don't quite know how to help him. I know being supportive is a no-brainer, but I can't exactly give him any advice for what to do. Do I tell him to tell the school, like I did, only for them to throw it back in his face, like they seem to do. Or do I tell him to stand up for himself more, and risk him getting beaten up.

And is there anything else I can do, other than simply be a good brother?

It really worries me, and any advice you can give me would be very much appreciated. I really just want my brother to continue to be the happy and energetic boy he is today.
 
I experienced many forms of abuse throughout primary school and have been left with very low self confidence and low self esteem so I understand exactly what you mean.
I too worry a lot about my own brother because I never want him to have the same experiences as me or to experience any form of intense bullying at all. I understand kids will always be bullied in some way, small or otherwise but I always worry that I'll somehow fail him if I don't prevent people from bullying him.

In honesty, the bullying subsided when I got to about year ten because I found a good group of friends and learned not to care because they didn't. Bullying is always harder when you're on your own and I really hope he finds himself a good troop of mates when he gets into secondary school.
As for what you can do, I think you need to inform the school upon any instance of bullying. I know that that's not always helpful, but another thing you can do is ask for his bands to be moved?
I was moved to another "band" or set basically so that I would not be with anyone from my previous school, barely anyone. It was helpful to me and I could start a fresh new slate with new people :)

Perhaps ask your parents to try that? It's a scary step, but it's the best thing my parents ever did for me.
 
this

http://www.wikihow.com/Avoid-Getting-Beat-Up-by-a-Bully

this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Gq0zj3qFAE

and this

http://www.snotr.com/video/3045/Kid_Teaches_Shirtless_Bully_a_Lesson


i think know how to denfed yourself is very important.... SO, my advice is stand up for yourself but learn how to defend youself ... practise krav maga or jujitsu or something like that.

if he doesnt want to...

http://youtu.be/xTmLn9c9H9w

When he falls, it's very important to put the foot up and your hands in fron of your face. Also, the kicks are with your tibia in the groin... No merci at all.

He might be suspended but at least he won't get picked again
 
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That's some good advice, Riven. :)

He originally attended a small boxing class, but got sick of it. Maybe I'll talk to him about it. :)


Also, an update on my brother - he's now finishing Primary School for the Summer. So for now, I'm just gonna relax and make sure he has the best Summer ever.

Does anyone have any advice for activities I could maybe do with him?
 
boxe isnt that fun.. you need to make him attend a sport that has no ring Why? because in a ring , you have a referee and there are things you cannot do. In the streets there's no one to back the oponent off if you get beaten a lot and they'll do anything to you. My krav maga instructor did kickboxing for many years and he says what i just said.

it's not because i practise this, but to me krav maga is one of the most complete martial arts ever. you learn from boxe, to defend yourself against chokes, guns and knifes.

Of course you'll lose agains a kickboxer or a boxer when it comes to fight , fight. But they'll die against a gun or a knife and you just might, MIGHT, survive
 
[MENTION=1396]Phossix[/MENTION]. First of all thank you for caring. I was a martial arts instructor some time back and I have seen quite a few cases where the training and confidence helped people who were being bullied.

In my own case many years ago when I was in school, I too was bullied. at that time I became a friend of the most popular boy in the school and also of two others who were VERY large boys for their age. This seemed to discourage the bullies. :cool:

On a more basic level a swift punch on the nose tends to discourage bullies from coming back for more.
 
Thanks for the advice, folks.

A problem came up tonight though where my brother's friend decided to turn spontaneously nasty to him. He sent him messages that upset him, so my Dad came through, and replied.

Now all his friends seem to have ganged up against him.
 
Is there no teachers or a counselor at the school that your brother can talk to?
Maybe they can help him work on standing up against the bullies, or telling someone else in authority so it doesn't keep happening.

If the teachers seem to be useless, I would take it to the police. Especially since the boys are physically harming him.
I think if I were your brother, I would attempt to stand up for myself, but if the bullies threaten to beat me up, or do, in fact, beat me up, I would contact the police.
I know it sounds drastic, but it may keep them off your brother's back.
 
I don't think it will work.. I mean the school never does anything.

And what proof would her brother have that the other kids beat him? The police isn't going to stalk her brother to see if it happens again and there might not be physical evidence of the other guys in her brother.

People who suffer from bullying end up killing themselves or suffer from deep depression exactly because nobody ever does anything.

If the parents threat the kids, the kids will just beat him when daddy isnt around


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2YGjz5SV_Qk

like this one, you have LOADS of other videos showing people who didn't stand up and died. I for one, would grab this blondy hair and toss her to the floor and kick her ****.


Anyways, what accent was that one?? its weird
 
True, there probably won't be a lot of evidence that would lead to the police knowing that the boys are the ones who are picking on the brother,
But I do think police are allowed to give warnings to people when they physically harm you. Even if they don't have solid proof, they can still issue a warning and then perhaps the parents of the boys will be more aware of what their children are doing.
 
The parents can be aware but imagine... Idk if your school is near your house but imagine you have to walk a mile to get home. during thst time, anyone can pick on you. Ofc parents could come and get you but what if they work late? The police can issue warnings but so can everyone. Kids have no respect for anyone so being the police or the parents to warning them is the same thing.

I am telling you, if my kid got bullied, i'd teach him to fight. This way, he can win his independence for himself instead of daddy or mommy go to school... I think, in a twisted-ish, way, kids do earn some independence when they defend themselves and when they dont actually need us. I'd be very proud when a sons of mine came home and smiling he/she would say: i kick those bullies **** today.

I know violence isnt the way, blah,blah... And bullying is? I am just answering the same way. It would be worse if it were cyber bullying.
 
Thanks for the advice guys. Sorry I didn't respond.

There was some weird incident this morning on his FB where a girl started calling him weird because he took a photo at a party, and she was in it. I decided to take the reigns and respond:

"I was taking a photo at a party. I don't think it's at all weird. If you want, I can take down the photo if it bothers you so much?"

Oddly enough, this seems to bother me more than my brother. Ahah.
But I'm just worried this girl is going to cause even more trouble. I don't want Mark to be bullied anymore. Ugh.
 
Never really got much feedback but yeah.
Brother came home today saying he got hit in the face by two boys down the road. I went down with him, they saw me, and they started running and hopped on their bikes, and then ran into their house.

I went up to the door, and rang it, and explained to their mother what had happened.
She said she'd ground the two.

Their faces were priceless. :3
 
Well done to you [MENTION=1396]Phossix[/MENTION] for taking action and making such an effort to help your brother. That really is very commendable of you and I'm sure it's something he will remember for a long time.

Has your family considered moving him to a different school at all?

I also feel that participating in martial arts or even any other sport would be very helpful to him. Hopefully he would not have the need to get physical, but the confidence that he would learn from participating in sport would be evident to bullies and would help (at least a little) to deter them from picking him out and hassling him.

Good luck with it.
 
Sarcasm. Nothing bullies hate more. Most bullies are pretty stupid so it's not too hard to outsmart them and make them look stupid. Make sure he can defend himself verbally without looking weak. And to be honest, getting through bullying is easy if you have your friends. Make sure whatever happens, he never takes his frustration out on his friends. They'll be his key to getting through it. Maybe he could sign up to some self-defense lessons.
 
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